There is more to 'and more'.

What more means is this speech. The day that we were practicing for our graduation or the day I my face was slapped because of the award I've been wanting to have didn't happen was also the day I received a text from the SC president of St. Scho Pampanga. She was inviting me to be their speaker for their leadership camp. I was so excited that I said yes right away. I tried to make a guide para naman hindi ako magmukhang tanga because these people actually believe that I am someone 'else'. Little did they know I was just someone. But anyway, I tried my best to make this speech. I was confused then if I would just be writing keywords or make the entire speech. But I end up doing the latter. I sort of finished the speech thursday night. Di ko namalayang may flow pala yung nagawa ko. 

Friday came, the day of leadership camp. Also, the day of my exam for employment at Ayala. Vern and I didn't know that it would take us that long to finish the exam. It took us around 3 hours and we went home at 4:30 and I had to be in Pampanga by at least 6 pm so I could still read the speech and practice, eat dinner and fix my powerpoint slides. But I got home at around 7:15 already. 45 minutes before the agreed time. When I got home, I hurriedly ask my brother to open the computer and fix my slides and print my speech. One problem: sira yung printer. I was really panicking. I was eating dinner while running inside our house. Wala na kong magagawa di ko na mapiprint. I just read it and fix myself. 

So here's how the speech went. I didn't really follow it faithfully but the whole idea is there. The initial plan that this speech was just a draft. Ang balak ko lang is to write down anything and everything that pops into my head that will seem interesting and inspirational that will fit into my 1 hour talk. 

BEGIN.

Before anything else, I would like to share with you guys that I just graduated last Saturday. What is the relation to what is happening right now? Well, I wasn’t so thrilled about my graduation because I wasn’t able to achieve my lifelong dream… to get an award. But God was so good and He gave me this opportunity. I received a text from your SC President inviting me to talk to all of you. This is invitation reminded me that I am someone special despite of the recent disappoint I had. Para akong ginigising ni Lord at sabi “Kim, wag kang magmukmok jan magaling ka kaya!”

Most of the time I forget how great I am as a person. Things such as awards were needed for me to be reminded that I too can do extraordinary things. Also they are my motivation to keep up my game. But what will happen if things do not go as planned? Pano kung walang award? Pano kung walang magsasabi sayo na “magaling ka”? This is where you rely on yourself.  You guys are about to make a decision that will change your entire life. (Big words but SC really did change my entire life). So if such big decision will be made then you have to braise yourself and be prepared for all the consequences.

Let us start with the confusion people have about leaders. So ano tingin ninyo ang confusion ng mga tao? Let me give you a clue through this song.

** I AM by HILARY DUFF

Ang parating sabi sa mga leaders ay sila ang nagbibigay serbisyo. Sila yung mga parating handang tumulong sa tao para mapabuti ang sistema. Pero tingin ninyo ito lang ba ang yung ibig sabihin ng pagiging leader? I remembered from my speech then when I was still running for the VP position, I told everybody this: Leaders are not born but rather are made. Not everyone is a leader kasi hindi lahat ng tao ay pinanganak para maging leader. Being a leader is a choice, a choice which you are all facing right now. Joyce told me that this camp/talk is supposed to encourage all of you to run for the nearing SC elections. Let us emphasize on the word ENCOURAGE. I am only here to help you decide or make a choice and not make you run for a position. It is always your choice. I remembered my adviser when I was in my third year… mga august pa lang kinausap na niya ako about my plans for SC. She didn’t make me run, she was just constantly checking up on me about this plan. After a few months I told her I will vie for a position. It wasn’t her decision to make. It was entirely mine. She was only there to encourage… to explain things that at times seem so unclear to me. Ako yung papasok dun e so dapat alam ko yung papasukin ko para mapanindigan ko.  So tonight, just for tonight, I want you guys to think no one else but yourselves.

To start off let us all make the package! The package you are all about to offer to the student body. Itong package na ito pinaghihirapan and it’s a process you should have started way before. Let me tell you my story of how I started this process without even knowing it. Grade one palang ako naging president nako ng class. Siyempre at first I didn’t know that I was about to start something great as early as seven years old. Ang alam ko lang nun e binoto ako kasi feeling nila matanda na ako because of my height. I was known as the ate krish of everyone. And from then on, I was a consistent officer of our class/ organizations from gr1-4^th year and as I grew in this institution being a leader amd that I can truly say that St. Scho has been a great part in molding me into someone standing infront of you right now. My point is that being a leader takes time… you have to gather as much knowledge and experience as you can for you to have a good offer to all of the Scholasticans who are all counting on you. And I believe that all of you are doing that right now since you are all here in this camp. So keep it up. But remember that as you do this, keep in mind and instill in your hearts the Benedictine/Scholastican values that this institution has taught you. This is the very reason why may requirement na residency for those people who wants to run for a position. This isn’t about loyalty but how well you’ve grown into a better individual instilling in you the Benedictine and Scholastican values.

 So what do I really mean by leaders are made and that leadership isn’t about just giving service?  This is still about the making of the package. Let me emphasize again that  leadership is also about you/us. Hindi lang ito puro sa iba. But let us not confuse it with how our government officials run our country. Iba naman yun. Corruption na yun. My point is that we also have to remember the person behind the thing called leadership and that is you! This is where you have to make yourself. Think of it as a date. Halimbawa ikaw yung guy, tapos you ask this girl for a dinner. Siyempre gusto mo sa isang magandang restaurant tapos masarap yung food. You want the girl to be happy. But the preparation doesn’t stop there. Siyempre magpapagwapo ka. Gusto mo mabango ka. Wala kang pimple. The same goes with leadership only we have to think deeper. You have to be at your best before you can lead. Parang mahalin mo muna sarili mo bago ka makapagmahal ng iba. Appreciate yourself. Kasi nga minsan dadating ang oras na people wouldn’t appreciate you. Believe in you what you can do and forgive yourself for what you cannot do. In leadership, this is where you should believe in yourself more because a leader is also a role model. You have the power to inspire people and make them change for the better. So how do you this when you yourself do not believe that things can happen… that you can make it happen.

I have mentioned earlier that you have to be at your best before you can lead. Others might think of this the wrong way. There are different ways to interpret the word ‘best’ in the context of leadership. 

**BREAKAWAY by KELLY CLARKSON

There is this misconception that only good speakers can run for a post or only the most intelligent people could lead. This isn’t correct. I consider myself as a very average person . Minsan nga below average pa and yet I was able to lead. I was never on top of my class.. I do not have that ‘charm’ as they call it.. Sometimes I feel inferior and at times I feel like I am too ordinary to be different.  I wasn’t the best in the stereotype context. I was the best in a much different way…The leadership way which is being able to offer something great to the people despite being such an ordinary person.

Di ba mas masarap pakinggan kapag yung mga ordinaryong tao ang gumagawa ng mga extraordinaryong mga bagay kaysa sa mga taong expected na gagawa ng mga ganoong bagay?  But do not get me wrong na hindi na okay yung mga taong expected na na gumawa ng magagandang bagay. It’s just that, on a personal note, mas okay  para sakin yun dahil yun ang naexperience ko. I remember the first trimester that I got into the dean’s list. I was so excited that when I knew all my grades I called up my mom and dad and told them the good news. Then it kept on going. Although there will be times that I will miss a term, it was still unexpected of me because I wasn’t the brightest studentPoint is, be unexpected. Surprise people on how great you can become.

***JUST STAND UP

The word best in this context of leadership or any context for that matter doesn’t mean that leadership should be flawless. In fact great leaders commit a lot of mistakes… because this is where you learn. As the saying goes “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”. But in reality, mahirap magkamali kapag leader ka. When you are a leader, the spotlight is on you. You do a lot of great things and people commend you for it..and when you do something wrong people will forget all the good and remember only the bad. It’s reality but this shouldn’t stop you from being the best and this shouldn’t make you be afraid of committing mistakes because if you are afraid then it is like saying you are afraid to experience the true meaning of life… afraid to learn.. afraid to be better. There are several mistakes that are meant to happen and these mistakes will only make you better and hopefully the best person and leader.  So my piece of advice?  make that mistake and be the best!

**THE CLIMB.

This is the last meaning of the word ‘best’ in the context of leadership..  It is being ready.  Hindi pwedeng sasabihin ninyo na lang na kapag andun na kayo sa office na ‘di ko naman alam na ganito… bakit ganyan?” In the song we’ve just sung, andun lahat ang mga bagay na dapat handa kayo

1.       There’s always gonna ba another mountain- this means that as a leader, do not expect an easy life. there will be times akala mo tapos na yung isang problema… but here goes another one. You should always be ready to climb that mountain. And even though it isn’t easy, it is truly fulfilling.

2.       Move that mountain- do not just climb the mountain… move it. Make a tremor.  It is the same as making your mark. Let the people remember how great you are as a leader by moving that mountain. Shake their feelings. Be always ready to feel the people that you are there through the quality leadership that you’ve promised to give them.

3.       Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m gonna have to lose- Be ready to fall at times. Ganon naman talaga when you are climbing, may mga bato tapos madadapa ka and then it will be much harder for you to continue because of the pain of the wound. Lesson here is take time to regain yourself and prepare to continue the battle you’ve started. Losing doesn’t mean the end.. consider it as a timeout.. sa bench ka muna because you couldn’t handle it anymore. Then when you are all rested, you can now continue playing the game. In this way, you wouldn’t have to sacrifice the good quality of leadership that you have by just pushing yourself too much… tandaan.. don’t get overboard with the word selfless because it doesn’t equate to leadership.

4.       Ain’t no about what’s waiting on the other side.- Be ready that things may not go as planned. As a leader, there will be people who will be against what you believe in or there will be some who will not support you on the project you thought is amazing. Always keep up your game. Just like right now, you are all unsure of who will be the next set of SCO but there is only way of finding out.. and that is through keeping on playing the game.

Let me ask you kung kinakabahan na ba kayo on the decision or on the things that you are about to make? Okay lang kabahan. Naalala ko na pinakakinabahan ako when I was in your position nung I was about to deliver my speech to the entire student body and nung pinresent na kaming winners. Yes, kinakabahan pa rin ako kahit presentation na because it was so momentous for me. Anyway my point is, and remember this.. when you are scared or nervous sometimes it means that you are unto something important. But do not let this feeling overpower your faith in yourself as this faith should be exemplified in your whole being. Dapat ipakita mo sa mga tao na anjan ka… that you can give them hope na things will get better. Pero wag lang dapat paasahin. Ipakita nyo na you mean what you say. Always give them the assurance na they are in good hands that they chose the right person..

My last piece of advice would be is do what you love. Leadership is something that you should really want and not just a random thought. It should be your passion. It shouldn’t be loving what you do. Because if I give you this advice then it is like saying that you were given the job and that you can no longer do anything about it because you are stuck with it. Unlike when I say do what you love.. simula pa lang.. yun na talaga gusto mo.

And now, aside from your own efforts on making the package that you are about to offer soon to your fellow Scholasticans you will definitely need help from the dude who knows exactly how to be a great leader. Always pray to him so that He may inspire you so that you could inspire others. 

*** FIREWORK

END.

More or less the talk went like that. Maraming side comment and kwento just to keep them alive. My audience were all exhausted because it was also their foundation day earlier so I was even more nervous knowing this kasi baka tulugan nila ako. Luckily  hindi naman. The songs really helped. :) I ended my talk by summarizing the 3 definition of BEST in the context of leadership.

1. Be the best despite of you being ordinary

2. Make mistakes but not stupid mistakes

3. Be ready

And then I told them how fulfilling it was to be an SC officer and that until now dala-dala ko pa rin yung pride na I was once an officer for the Student Council. 

They awarded me with a simple token... a certificate and a benedictine memorabilia. Then I told them, wow may award nako for my graduation! And I said thank you to all of them for such a wonderful opportunity.

The tassel is on my left.

Indeed, I am a graduate of De La Salle University-Manila with the course of Bachelor of Science in Commerce Major in Management of Financial Institutions. :) 

Who wouldn't want to honed in one of the best institutions? Who wouldn't want to excel and make their parents proud? It has been my dream to receive an academic award. I've been wanting to prove to myself that I, too, can do extraordinary things. But my college years didn't come along my way. The first trimesters were all about adjustments and it was tough. My new found friends have helped me through.They were my constant reminder that college would be just fine. For the most part, it was fine but I couldn't just control everything and have things done my way. After shifting, I had to go through adjustments yet again. I was alone most of the time. But I had to say I was so proud of myself. There were times that I will be getting higher scores than everyone else and I will give myself a tap at the back. I was a consistent dean's lister for my second year (the supposed adjustment year since I was a shiftee). I continued to surprise myself by having to see myself on that list after second year. Then I told myself, I can make things happen. I worked much harder knowing that I have that chance for that award. There were several times I had to say 'no' to my friends and to my family. There were a lot of times I was sick. But I knew that I was working on something great... something that would really make me and those people I love happy. 

But things again didn't go as planned. There were circumstances on which I do not understand why God would let things happen that way. I was slowly going back to where I started but I didn't lose hope. But despite of this hope I was falling apart. The last term was my final ticket and it was a make or break moment as I was about to know my grades for the last two subjects: one elective (FINMERG) and practicum. I was almost there. In fact, I was able to reach the quota in my earlier terms. Thesis got f*cked up because of one professor. Everything else were perfectly great. My last term was such a tiring one for me. This was the time I started admiring working students. My work was supposed to be from 8-5 but most of the time I stayed up late when I do not have tuesday and thursday class which was from 740-910. The latest that I was at the office was 10:30. The work was relatively easy but the load was heavy. My class on the other hand was not an easy one. One has to work his ass off to get a good grade. Also the professor was expecting too much because most of us were graduating. With this set-up, there were times I would just breakdown because I was so exhausted. I wasn't able to give my utmost best. But I still believed I could make it...

On the day of the posting of the grades, I didn't check mine yet. Nor did I go to school for consultation. While I was waiting for the simbang gabi a friend texted me that the grades are posted for FINMERG. She asked me if I wanted to know what my grade was and I told her yes. And there I knew my grade. BUT, I was still hoping that it could happen as I wasn't able to compute the grade I needed to be able to reach that spot. Later, I checked it. And from there, I stopped believing. 

I had to contain myself because it was the Christmas season. I didn't want to tell my parents then because I didn't know how. I was so used to telling them good news. Though they keep telling us, their children, that as long as we give our all, it would be just great for them. But I kept the bad news until the week before our graduation. I even told them in the most casual way, "o, wala akong award ah..". I was telling them this with a fake smile on my face. But it was breaking my heart.


College recognition rites practice came and I was so hesitant to attend. But I had to since my friends were there. We were practicing and someone asked "o yung may mga awards jan". I was about to cry especially when I texted my parents and told them that I wasn't happy being there. That moment was a reminder that I wasn't able to make it. It was my last chance for this lifelong dream and I blew it. 


Though I am still hurting, I was able to realize through the homily during the baccalaureate mass and the speech given by one of the graduates that we are not measured by the things we have harvested rather by the seed we have planted. In this world, awards may at times be a measurement of success but what is truly important is how we have changed for the better and have inspired others. As a graduation gift and perhaps something that will take my mind away from the things that hurt, He gave me this invitation to my Alma mater, St. Scholastica's Academy, to talk to aspiring leaders. This, I believe, is the start of a much better reality far away from the dream that didn't come true. 


Even if I wasn't able to pin something on my graduation, I was able to dressed up, wore my toga and cap and put that tassel to my left.