Post inspiration: http://www.pattylaurel.com/2013/06/love-is-perfectly-imperfect.html
Last week was a roller coaster of emotions for me. It was bipolar kind of week.
I was sick therefore I was needy. I was tired from work therefore I wanted to feel loved. I was sad therefore I wanted to cry. I was mad therefore I wanted to punch someone on the face. The list could go on, but this probably captures most part of what I was feeling.
But what did I do have the other feeling of happiness to balance it out and consider it as a bipolar kind of week? I fought it. Relentlessly. Because I was so tired and sick... I can be a little bit of demanding. Demanding girlfriend to be specific. This, I think, was one of the attitudes that would have to be blamed for my failed relationship before. But I had reasons then which I would no longer discuss in details. Nevertheless, it's worth re-evaluating myself of this attitude of mine. Last week was a confirmation that I am indeed a demanding other half. But since I have learned from my past relationship, I think I am becoming less and less of that. Especially knowing that he is one of the busiest person in their school.
It's too early to tell that I already got the formula to keep a relationship. Nonetheless, I do believe I have a few items to list off that can help.
Understand and Compromise.
A friend and I were having this conversation about relationships when someone we knew was asking permission to her boyfriend about going somewhere. And the guy did not allow the girl because he thinks it would be too dangerous for her. Then I commented on this saying, "I would never let a guy control my life. If I want to go out with friends then I will." My friend told me that it's also about thinking the other person in your life. Because you now have him and share your life with him.
I was quiet and realized what my friend just told me.
She was right. The moment you agree to be in a relationship with someone, you no longer just think about yourself. You now have someone special given to you by God to love. Wherever stage you are in a relationship, whether you are just starting off or already married, the rule of understanding and compromise still applies. Because I do believe, we do not get into a relationship for the sake of having one, rather, because we want to share our life with this awesome person alloted by the Greater Being for as long as we live.
So technique is to make decisions, especially the ones that would highly involve both of you, that will make both of you happy.
Be Happy.
As the inspirational post of Patty Laurel said on couples fighting, "-if by A LOT you mean more than 3 times a day like morning, noon and night and even in your dreams... naku anak, maghiwalay nalang kayo please! Maawa kayo sa isa't-isa. Hahaha!). "
I do believe that every couple should always have a goal of happiness for the relationship because it will good things can branch out from happiness. So every time, you are faced with unhappy situations, fight it. Though it's cliche, it is true when they say, "Happiness is a choice". You can be sad and it's normal to be. What is not normal and healthy is that you stay in that state for a long period of time. Because, you can always go out of it and choose to be happy. And happiness is infectious, so it's easily shared.
So why not choose to be happy? :)
Make Time.
I am the kind of person who values time so much. I do not like being late. I maximize my time by multi-tasking. I spend quality time with the people I love as much as possible.
Time is something you can't get back. That is why when someone makes time for me, I truly and greatly appreciate it. I appreciate it so much more than material gifts. That is why time management is very essential to learn and master. You have to have enough time to give for work and for play. Sometimes, work has no problem eating up our 24-hour a day allowance. It actually eats it all up! The challenge now is to balance. Hence, play.
I remember my old boss telling me that usually daily scheduling doesn't work. Because in the morning, we usually list off a lot of things that we need to do for the day and we end up not finishing them all. Weekly scheduling, according to her, is better. Because you get to plot all your agenda and prioritize the items that you need to. It's also best for time management and sticking up to your commitments. So when you do this, you won't always do a last minute cancellation on your dinner dates. And you can actually have a work-life balance!
Keep it real.
Don 't try to make it perfect. It will naturally be imperfect. Don't try to mimic those love stories that you see on the movies because they are tweaked for entertainment and commercialization purposes. Make your own story. Have fun with it. :)
Pray.
This is the most powerful of them all. You surrender everything to Him but promise Him that you will do your best and he'll take care of the rest.
I am not yet the most religious person you will ever meet but I admire couples who entrust their love to the greater glory that is God because you can truly see that what they have is genuine and blessed.
Love is different when it is shared with Him.
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So what is my story? Last Tuesday, I felt all of it: sick, tired, sad and mad. But instead of ranting about it to him, I went to him and surprised him. Had a quick chat about how we both have been. And all things were better.
The items above were all learned through this Tuesday incident. And I was thankful that it happened. Because I got to learn a lot of things and I realized how to make things work when they don't. We just have to keep a strong faith that what we have can be better.
